Stop thinking...

So at the age of 32.8 years old, I have gone back to "school" to start a new career. I am very excited about the possibilities that will come with this new career, and that I have finally decided what to be now that I have grown up. I am going to be a medical transcriptionist. Yeah! I actually find it quite fascinating, for the same reason I find the obituaries fascinating, I like to know about other people's lives. I also read People magazine for this same reason--I find other people fascinating and yes, I am a people watcher. Anyway, back to the point. After studying occassionally for 1 1/2 years on the one year course that I could do online at my own convenience, and after having to get four 3-month extentions to finish the course, and then studying diligently for the last 5 1/2 months, I have completed the course! I took the final over a week ago, and in a test of my patience, am still waiting for the results. It is not the school's fault, they told me it could take up to 2 weeks to get the results back, but I had so hoped for it to be sooner! I am so ready to start contributing to our families financial income again!

I have practiced, and practiced, and then drove myself nuts wondering if I was good enough. Finally, I emailed my student counselor, who is so supportive, informative, and encouraging, to ask if my productivity was high enough to get a job if I do pass my final. When she told me that the expectation for new MTs was 100-150 lines per hour, my confidence boosted...I am currently averaging 164 lines per hour in a 9 pt font! Yeah!! Now it is just for the waiting!

I should really be used to the waiting part. My whole life has been spent waiting. I told my mom that I think that the Lord is trying to teach me patience, because it is the one thing that I can't seem to grasp the concept of, which is strange because when it comes to other people I have loads of patience. I just don't have any for my own life! I grew up in the land of "marry young and have lots of kids before you are 30," and I didn't get married until I was 29. We wanted to wait until our house was built before we had any children of our own because we were living with D's parents for "3 months" until it would be completed. Well, that 3-months turned into 11. Now we are struggling to have another child...oh, the patience that I am learning!

The funny thing is that when you are hoping for something that you have absolutely no control over (i.e. test scores), people tend to give you really good and useless advice. I was just chatting with my sister, Gillette, and she gave me this very type of advice. She said, "Don't think about it." Okay, because it only affects my whole life and my family's whole lives...it isn't important, so I won't think about it. The only problem is how do I not think about it! When I asked Gillette this very question, her answer was very helpful, "I don't know." And truth be known, I would have given her the same advice she gave me.

People always tell you to just put things out of your mind, but I really need someone to teach me how. Are there special pliers that can reach in through your ear and pull out the item that you need to "put out" so that you can just set it aside and reinsert it when the time is right? If so, I need some of those, and until then I will continue to hope to know if the next chapter in my job life can begin...