Flip Flops Forever...

I do not love feet.  I do not in any way, shape, or form think that they are attractive. There is nothing sexy about them.  There is no reason to show them off.  Yet, I do not like to wear shoes. I think that pedicures were invented to try to convince people like me that feet can be attractive.  While I am a BIG fan of the pedicure, feet will never be attractive.  I am okay with baby feet, but that is because babies rarely have shoes on, and they don't really sweat. So, baby feet are still touchable, but they are the only ones.  I knew that I loved D the day I let him give me a foot rub, and then I gave him one in return.  I remember thinking, ""Oh, crap...he gives a good foot rub, that means that I will have to touch his feet if I want another one.  And if I am willing to touch his feet, that means we are in it for the long haul."  That is the real reason we got married.  

While I love to shop for shoes, wearing them is a different story.  Closed shoes are so restricting, and that is just the beginning of their problems.  They make your feet sweaty, sticky, and not so pleasant smelling, which wouldn't be bad if the smell remained only on the feet and people could only smell it if they were on the floor next to your feet.  That, however, would be creepy. So, feet smells just drift up to offend anyone who may be in the vicinity like an announcement "ANNIE JUST TOOK HER SHOES OFF AFTER 9 HOURS OF WEAR! STAY AWAY!!!"  To try to minimize the smell, sweat, and stickiness, socks are worn.  Socks, however, only add to the sweat and stickiness.  They also add the element of toe fuzz.  There is nothing more disgusting than trying to generously give your husband a foot rub (while trying to pretend it doesn't bother you) and having sock fuzz between his toes.  D knows that I don't love feet.  Because of this he kindly washes his feet when they are really bad, like after a full day of shoe wearing rather than just a couple of hours.  

As a woman there are several varieties of foot wear available; however, the majority either cause the above listed problems or pain.  I do not know how women wear high-heeled shoes all day long.  While working outside of our home, I tried to wear heels to work once...after that I gave up and swore it would never happen again.  I promised my feet that if they would continue to walk, I would not make them face more than 3 consecutive hours in high-heels ever again.  And I haven't!  If it were up to me I would wear flip flops all day, every day, all the time...either that or I would go barefoot.  And no, I don't know why it isn't up to me, but people think your weird if you wear flip flops in the snow.  Therefore, I guess it isn't up to me because I am afraid of society's opinions...oh, society...

My feet, above all others, are disgusting.  My heels are cracking under the pressure of the extra weight and stress that I can't seem to ever rid myself of.  My toes and the balls of my feet are callused due to me walking with my heels off of the ground to protect myself from the pain of the canyons in the heels.  I do not currently have a pedicure, so the nail beds of my toes are not even trying to pretend they are attractive.  And structurally...let's just say there hasn't been hope for my feet since the beginning of time.  I have an extra bone in my foot, which wasn't discovered until I broke one of them at 18.  I have another bone that is longer than it needs to be.  The tendons are too long and ball up below my ankle, making it look as if I have 2 ankles in each foot.  The combination of these items means that I have flat, wide feet....so not attractve.  Someone once told me that he could tell what any girl was going to be like just from looking at her feet.  I replied, "I could see that...flat and wide...that pretty much sums me up!"  

In an effort to rid myself of the hideousness that has become the bottom of my feet, I bought a "Ped-Egg."  I saw one on TV, and I wanted it.  I saw one at Walgreens, and I bought it.  D asked me if I realized that it is basically just a little "cheese grater" for my feet.  I don't care if it is a blender for my feet, if it gets rid of the dry, cracked calluses that used to be skin, which it does! It is amazing!  I never thought that I would be able to touch my heels again without having to get a band-aid for my bleeding finger, but I can.  I can even play footsie with my husband again.  I haven't, but I could.  Feet will never be attractive, but at least now I have the tool to let me wear my flip flops with confidence.  Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I am going to cover them up...at least during the warm months.