Losing the race...

Today was a very good day on my roller coaster of weight loss and gain. I lost 2.8 pounds today! I was very excited, but not as excited as I would have been if I had lost 5 or more pounds. I know, slow and steady wins the race, but does the race have to take such a long time? Seriously! My race has been going on for several months now. I have been distracted by a couple of vacations, a few bad days (weeks), and a lot of ice cream, but still...this race is getting ridiculous. My sisters run, and because of it they lose weight when they need to. I used to jog/speed walk and I have to say, I looked good when I did. Now, I have let time and calories get away from me, and to run would be an embarrassment to the human race. Yes, even animals would be laughing at me. I have tried to use the elliptical machine that so tauntingly resides in my bedroom, but when the little leg poles come out of the machine Fuss thinks it is a game where he has to try to catch them. I work when he is sleeping, so that option is out. And while his playpen is set up in my room also, it is to block him from getting into the master bathroom and he cries when I put him in it. His crying while I exercise is not a good combination, because then I can't hear the TV and time drags on and I realize how long 60 minutes really is. If I am watching TV while elliptically then time goes by much faster, especially if I turn the alarm clock around so I can watch the minutes slowly change.

I may actually lose more weight today, because during my race to lose I weigh myself several times throughout my weigh in day in an attempt to find my lowest weight, and then that is the one I go with. It is amazing to me how I can fluctuate within a 5 pound range throughout the day. I weigh myself first thing in the morning because I have been told that this when I should weigh the least. So, right after I potty, I weigh. However, so far I have found I weigh the least at 11:07 a.m. after I have eaten breakfast and used the restroom at least 3 times by this point (I drink a lot of water), and I am getting ready to shower (yes, it is this late in the day before I shower...sometimes later), I strip down and weigh myself, and I have found I can lose up to 2 pounds in this 5 hours alone, which makes me wonder what has happened throughout the past 7 days that I had to wait until the last 5 hours of it to get any results.

I actually blame the bathtub for the main reason that I can never be happy with my body. When relaxing in the bathtub, I like to lay back and rest my head on the wall behind me. This is not a flatter point of view to observe my large body. Being in the water makes a person look wider and whiter no matter who you are. When you are already wide and white, you don't need the extra emphasis. Not to mention that it takes a LOT of bubbles to try to hide what I don't want to see. I used to take baths to feel better when I was feeling blue, but then when I realized no matter how blue I was, I was whiter than I thought (and wider) and I felt even bluer. Therefore, I avoid baths. I do still enjoy a swimming pool, because then I can crouch if I have to to get the water up to my neck, and my body is below me and is out of my view. I enjoy a good murky lake even more for the same reasons.