I'm not the first...

Here is the thing about being the second wife of your first husband, you will make sacrifices that you never thought about previously. I want to preface this with, I love D and I would not change him or our marriage for anything else or anyone else! When D and I got married, I was 29 years old. We were set up on a blind date, and the only thing I knew about him was that he had 3 kids from a previous marriage. He was so romantic when we were dating. He was so thoughtful and affectionate. He was everything that I had dreamed the man of my dreams would be--tall, dark, and handsome included. 

So, when we got married, I expected the romance to continue and fulfill my fantasy of the honeymoon phase of my life. Here is what no one tells you when you marry a divorced dude, he starts the next marriage pretty much where he left on the first one. There is no rewind on a guy. So, D started our marriage on year 8 and I started it on year zero. The honeymoon phase did not exist. Really, I don't know if it does in real life for anyone, but I hope that it does. All the things that you hope to experience with the man of your dreams, he already has experienced. The wedding night, your first home, your first pregnancy, your first child, your first anything...all ready done... 

During one of my specifically emotional times (remember, I am on hormones in an attempt to get pregnant so it is not my fault I cry a lot), I was complaining about how much I have missed because he is now on year 11 of our marriage and I am still wishing for the first year of bliss to happen. In an effort to keep me happy, my husband seems to have found his rewind button, and he is making an effort to be more attentive and romantic, like we were dating again, but without the dates. I love that my husband is making the effort. Even if we have already purchased our first home together, made it through the first pregnancy, and are surviving our first child together, we could have been married yesterday! Lucky, lucky me!