There is a difference...

Before leaving for our family reunions D and I were discussing the fact that we would like the house to be "clean" before we left so that we didn't have to come home to more of a mess than what we would be bringing with us. The day we were leaving D called me from work to ask how the cleaning was going. As I explained to him that I didn't really have the time to get things clean, but that the house was at least "straight", D asked me what the difference was. The difference, I have decided, is that I am a woman and he is a man. My expectations of "clean" can never be reduced to what his are, and he will never understand mine. This was made even more abundantly clearer yesterday when I was sick, miserable, and yes whiney. D won himself some brownie points (which, of course, he lost later by making a stupid comment) by staying home from work to take care of me, Fuss, and the house. Upon reviewing his work, our house is definitely in better condition than it was when he woke up yesterday morning, but I still wouldn't call it clean, and here is an example of why:

The kitchen has some dishes in the sink, the highchair tray unwashed on the counter, and the food storage products we purchased still sitting by the desk. Straight enough that if company came by we don't look like slobs, just that we actually live in our house, but clean...I don't think so. Clean would be if the sink were not only free from dishes, but scoured itself. The food storage would be down in the basement, but at this point that would require we first clean the basement to make room in the storage room for the storage that we need to store instead of the junk that is currently there. (So, I can't really blame him for that). The stove needs to be scrubbed with the cleanser that is specifically made for cleaning the stove to remove the burned on gunk. The top of the fridge needs to have all of the papers that D throws up there removed. The front of the fridge needs to have the fingerprints washed off of it, as does the pantry door. The windows definitely need to be washed, and the blinds dusted. Lucky for D, I dusted the shelves, the table, and the desk recently. I also mopped the floor, so he got off easy on that one too. And that is only 1 room, imagine what the differences were in the entire house.

To a woman doing laundry means: washing, drying, folding, hanging, and putting away. To a man doing laundry means: choosing which 2 from the list they would prefer to do and doing only those 2. To a woman cleaning the bathroom means: scrubbing tubs, toilets, floor, sink, and counters, refilling soap dishes, moving any counter-dwellers (nick knacks) and washing underneath them, as well as washing them, washing the mirror, and washing rugs. To a man cleaning the bathroom means: washing off the counter, possibly the sink, and closing the shower curtain.

Why the difference? I have no idea. I can tell you this though, I remember the same issues with my parents and cleaning, so I think that it is universal (either that or I married a man much like my father, which isn't all bad). For me, I have tried to explain the differences, but I don't think that it will ever "click" with D what it is that I am saying. Even after I "clean" a room instead of just straightening it, he can't tell the difference from the deep clean to the quick-and-acceptable-for-living-in straightening. I guess I will just take the help I do get. It was pretty easy to show him how much he does have to learn about how much I really do around here when I had to put the majority of the clean dishes from the dishwasher away. Ironically D only knows where dishes used in eating go...dishes used for cooking are in the kitchens at Taco Bell or McDonalds as far as he is concerned...so why am I always washing pans?