Resolutions, what are those....

Well, I have definitely learned this about myself, even if I do make resolutions on paper (or computer) I really have no ambition to keep them... It actually took me looking at my friend's blog to come to the realization that I haven't been in blog-land for 5 very long months, which is sad because so much has happened and I am sure that I will not remember it all!

Fuss is getting so big and so sarcastic (I am really trying to figure out where he gets that from). My daily life with him now consists of actual conversations, kind of, that usually leave me laughing. There was the time I found him in my room with an empty package of E.L. Fudge cookies. He had one cookie in each hand and a face covered in chocolate from his nose to his chin. Knowing that D had just purchased the cookies last night, and realizing that he had not so wisely left them on his nightstand, I confronted my child...

Me: "Fussy, did you eat all of Daddy's cookies?" I stated sternly...
Him (quite seriously): "No."
Me: Glaring at him questioningly...
Him: (Matter-of-factly) "My mouth did."

It is really hard to get mad at your child when he speaks the truth so innocently, if only he really was innocent. I have also made comments that we needed to go shopping, to which he replied, "Yeah! I want a horse!" or that if he would take a nap I would take him to the dollar store to buy him a new car, to which he questioned, "...and some gas?" He is 2...and I am really afraid for his teenage years at this point.

We recently got rid of his binki, which he called his "meena." It has been a devastating 10 days for both of us. I had tried before, but to no avail. I had tried letting him have it only when he sleeps, but he always seemed to be able to find one somewhere during the day. So we went cold turkey....I took him to Toys R Us and let him choose a little teddy bear like the one we gave to my niece for her birthday. He had wanted it so badly and cried when I told him it wasn't for him. So I made him a deal, a bear for meena...which he excitedly handed over his meena for. I thought it would be so easy, but it wasn't. At the store I gathered the three different teddy bears, put them in the cart with him, and told him to choose one. He picked each one up, examined it carefully, then put it down and moved on to the next one. Once he had looked at all three of them through his thorough inspection, he handed me the dark brown one to put back on the shelf. He then reexamined the other two again before finally deciding that the stark white bear was to be his. He loved that bear all day long. It has a little bottle and he fed it and then brought me the bottle telling me that he needed more. So I pretended to refill the bottle, and gave it back to him. He fed the bear again. He even did airplane motions and noises as he brought the bottle to the bear's mouth. We had a little box, so I put a blanket inside of it, and he put the little bear down to bed telling me to be quiet "He sheeping, mommy!" It was so cute! We even named the bear meena so that when Fuss asked for his meena we gave him the bear. It was a good idea...in theory... he actually did okay for about the first week. Sure he cried for the first week, but seemed to get that he wasn't getting a binki, so he snuggled his bear and went to sleep. I learned much more about him, like he doesn't shut up for 5 seconds when there isn't something in his mouth. I also learned that this has been hard on me for two reasons, one he loved his meena so much that I felt like I was throwing out a part of him. His meena has been a part of his life since the day he was born, and to now deny him his greatest comfort is ripping my heart and soul! The other thing I learned is that I depended on his meena too, for some sanity! Now when he is upset or frustrated or just being two, I have to put up with it and deal with it and try to fix the situation instead of just handing him the binki...oh, how I miss the binki!

I do know that it is what is best for him on so many levels, but now he doesn't just whimper a little at bedtime he sobs. Now he gets angry and throws his bear off of his bed like he finally realizes the bear was a trick. Now I lie in bed and wish there was something I could do to comfort my son, but it is as though he realizes I was the one who took away his beloved meena and he doesn't really know why, even though I have diligently explained it to him several times, but he how do you explain orthodontia to a two-year-old...

He thinks...

I would like to profusely apologize to those that I have promised to write, I am a slacker!  Lately I feel as though life is slipping away too quickly!  This Friday my Fuss is going to be two! I can't believe it has now been two years since I first held that 6 pound 14 ounces, cone headed with hematomas on his head, double-chinned from the start, greatest blessing of my life in my arms for the first time! There is no way to describe the true joy that you feel and the feeling that you never thought you could love someone so much from the first second you saw them! 

Pretty much from the time he was born I knew that he was too smart for my own good.  He was only 2 days old when they brought the bilirubin lights to my house.  I don't know who invented this contraption, but seriously no brand new mother wants to put their tiniest treasure in a blue suitcase with patches over his eyes to keep him under lights.  Needless to say, I bawled for three days straight! I just wanted to hold him and comfort him. It was during those moments that I discovered just how in control my little man was.  Anyone could walk past my little guy, or stop and stare at how adorable he looked with the alien looking patches over his eyes, except me.  I don't know how he knew, but he did.  Even with his eyes covered and me being as quiet as possible, he knew every time I was near and he would reach his little hand up towards me and whimper...it broke my heart! Of course I picked him up and held him close to me...I was told he could be taken out of the lights to eat, so he ate a lot during those three days...

Now, here we are two years later and he still thinks he rules the roost around here.  The other day as I was trying to take a nap I felt a little finger ran across my eyelid. I opened my eyes to see my darling little boy sitting next to me with an eye shadow in his hands "doing my makeup."  When I asked him, "Does Mommy look pretty?"  He responded, "Hode on!" (hold on). He thinks he is the expert...

Last week he asked me for some "canny" (candy).  We had some jellybeans, so I told him he could have 3 of them.  Fuss can count to three (I think it is mostly because I always do when I want him to do something that he doesn't want to).  Anyway, as he lifted the jellybeans out by choosing his favorite colors first, he counted...one, one, one, one, one, one, one...I looked at him and he grinned his mischievous little grin and continued...two, two...I raised my eyebrows...He grinned and raised his then stated satisfactorily....three! He smiled and walked off with his treasure of "three" jellybeans. He thinks he is so smart...

Moments ago D was watching a movie on our bed while I sat in the recliner and Fuss played on the floor in front of me. D asked me to come lay by him and Fuss immediately ran over and climbed up on the bed. As I laid my head on D's chest, so did Fuss...until he pushed his way in between us declaring "my daddy!" So I raised my head and D put his arm around me.  Fuss immediately pushed him away from me declaring, "my mom!" He thinks he has to be the center of all our attention...

At this very moment I am typing with one hand as Fuss pulls on my other crying, "c'mon, c'mon, c'mom."  Normally at these moments I go with him to find out what he wants, but since I know he wants to go with his daddy into the office to play on the computer, I am not going.  He thinks he is in charge...sadly...he is!

Time passes by...

Okay, so I realize yesterday marked the one month anniversary of my last entry...what can I say, I have become awful at this, which is sad because I actually enjoy writing! Time passes so quickly that there never seems to be enough of it, and I wake up at 4:00 am! So, for those that have been missing my blog (Neyney) I am going to do a quick recounting of how my time has been spent over the last month (maybe just for a little justification of my slacking).  

Excuses:

1. I don't remember 90% of the last month, therefore cannot be held responsible!

2. Changing 8,692,478 diapers, many of which were really too dangerous to have to encounter, but I still braved them anyway.

3. Breaking up 6,139 fights (this would have been more if the older boys were here more than every other weekend).

4. Listened to 15,986,212,903 tantrums...oh, how the terrible twos are upon us!!!

5. Typed too many lines of medical transcription to count, but probably around the 15,000 range...it sure feels like that should be a higher number, probably because for half the time I am fighting off and trying to get Fuss to entertain himself or peacefully take a nap!

6. Called my mother crying because "I just can't take it anymore! He is awful!" and asking "Will he always be this disobedient!" (mostly meaning Fuss, but occasionally meaning D).

7. Attended 18 family parties/dinners.

8. Took the boys to Idaho for a sledding trip.

9. Done 693,412 loads of laundry.

10. Attempted to clean my house for hours on end...only to find as soon as I have a room cleaned satisfactorily and moved on to a new room, the clean one that I just left was redestroyed in seconds by Fuss and/or his brothers.

11. Relaxed in a comatose state (this I am guessing was about an hour or two a day, but am not really aware of it. I have just been told by D that I am there--I think it is really like 10 minutes a day.)

12. Leveled up 12 levels on Mob Wars on Facebook (stupid addictions)!

13. Attended one baby shower.

14. Ate dinner at Lucy's house (yes, I had dinner at the ex-wife's house when Olie was ordained to the office of a deacon...that should get us--me, D, his parents, and his sister and her family--all an award for keeping the peace and being polite under strenuously awkward circumstances.)

15. Had a completely (well 99.9%) green dinner at my parents' house in honor of today...St. Patrick's Day!

Last night my mom thought that it would be a fun idea to have a St. Patty's Day party.  We have never had one before and I don't know if we will again, but it sure was an adventure!! Each of us had an assignment to wear green and to bring one green pot luck item for our green dinner.  My mom made pasta with chicken alfredo sauce...green alfredo sauce.  My older brother brought green grapes, green apples, and green pears with Cool Whip mixed with green yogurt to dip them in.  I brought green frosted sugar cookies, because let's face it...I'm all about the sweets! Gillette brought a fantastic green spinach salad. Fluff made a green coffee cake, which under normal circumstances I would have been afraid to try, but it was actually quite delicious. Agee brought green cucumbers in vinegar (which is a family favorite for us). KM brought green honeydew melon. And my cousin brought green Jello (all Mormon stereotypes aside, it was delicious as well). My mom also provide regular colored rolls with green butter, which my brother and brother-in-law used to frost one of the cookies and trick my nephew into eating...so rude!  Martha Stewart, I am sure, would not have approved of our lack of color combinations or somewhat strange combinations of foods, but seriously what does she know about having fun and breaking rules! I have never before had an entirely green meal, nor did I think I would enjoy it, but boy was I wrong! There is something delicious about the creativity it takes to pull a meal like this one off, and I did learn that alfredo is good no matter what color it is (at least if it is that color intentionally)!  

My mom, being the great grandma that she is, also taught her grandchildren the story of a leprechaun who has to hide his gold.  She told them that on St. Patrick's Day Eve he looks for a leprechaun house that is nicely decorated, and if he finds one that he thinks is good enough, he will place his gold coins in it to hide them so they don't get stolen.  She then provided each child with small boxes, markers, and stickers to create and decorate houses for the leprechaun. She told each of them that they needed to place their leprechaun houses on their front porches to see if they were good enough to hide gold in. This morning 14 children were pleasantly surprised when they opened up those houses and found bags of gold (chocolate) coins inside.  I am sure their grandma must have told the leprechaun where the houses would be. So, as I make up excuses and justify my lack of commitment to my blog, my mom has planned ahead, gotten supplies, and provided each parent with the necessary items to fulfill the story that she told her grandchildren for a holiday that is not widely celebrated as a major holiday! Although I have never before celebrated St. Patrick's Day...I think this is a tradition that will carry on!  Time passes by too quickly! I find that for me it is time to relax and enjoy even the smallest things!! (and recommit to blogging--I hope!)

A new babysitter...

So obviously I am not good at keeping New Year's resolutions no matter when I set them...so far I am failing at all of them, not just the blog writing one...I am still working on it...and trying to do better!

Recently Fuss has begun to enjoy the television. This has both its good points and its bad. The good comes because when he wakes up at 5:00 or 6:00 am and D and I am working while D is still sleeping, we have found that Fuss will lie sideways in the recliner in our room with his blanket, binki, sippy, and remote and watch the Disney channel, which is our new built in babysitter. I realize that this does not make us parents of the year, but it does keep us sane at these early morning hours. I have also been known to lock him in our room with me for 20 minutes or so and allow him to watch TV while I get a desperately needed little power nap. The guilt I have from not spending "quality time" with my son is extensive, but not enough for me to not get the nap, which is only done on the most desperate of days. Another "good" is that Fuss really is learning things from "Little Einsteins" "Imagination Movers" and possibly even "Handy Manny" even though he has yet to start making repairs around the house in Spanish...I am still hopeful! 

The "bad" part of his new TV addiction is that now when he wakes up the first thing he says after, "Ba! Mom, Ba!!" (meaning he wants a drink) is "On!" while pointing at the TV. Even though he rarely sits still and watches an entire show other than the early morning hours, it still has become a constant background noise in our house. I have to turn it off to get him to read stories or sing songs with me, which used to be his favorite pass time activity. The worst "bad" of all though is that I have to truly ask myself how it came about that these grown men are singing and dancing for my son. Why are these shows that drive me crazy with their cheesy songs and ridiculous scenes all performed by men? Is it that women have too much dignity to put on clown "pantaloons" and wait for another grown up to guess what they are dressed up as, or is it that no woman in their right mind would hang out in a warehouse with a mouse as a friend and so many rooms that you would never have time to clean them all? Either way, they drive me crazy. The sad reality of the whole thing is that my entire family is getting sucked into the Disney prison of no escape. It seems to be all we can do to change the channel to dramatic TV shows...Even I have traded in "Ellen" for "Hannah  Montana" and "Suite Life" is definitely better than watching the evening news. 

You're hot...

I wonder how it is that such small things can fascinate children.  Fuss has been obsessed with shoes pretty much since he could walk.  It can be my shoes, D's shoes, or any of his brothers' shoes, Fuss doesn't care. He loves shoes. He loves to wear them and attempt to wander through the house with gigantic feet. Even now he is wearing my black dress flats with his blue dinosaur pajamas and I am thinking that he really needs to learn that pajamas go with tennis shoes a little better than dress shoes.  It's not just shoes though; Fuss is also obsessed with batteries, remote controls, light switches, the buttons on our house alarm, small toys, pencils, lemonhead candies, blueberries, my jewelry, and the thermometer. When he was smaller if I wanted to take his temperature it was a fight. I would have to lay him on the bed and kneel over him to keep his arms out of the way, then hold his head with one hand while I held the thermometer in his ear with the other one. Now, every time the bathroom door is open Fuss runs in, opens the drawer, grabs the thermometer, and holds it in his ear.  He must take his temperature repeatedly before he is satisfied with the results, which really is fine since I know he can't get it in his ear too far, but still how quickly does he think he is going to develop a fever?  

His other most favorite obsession is my makeup, which goes better with the black flats. I can't get it out of his reach because he is a really good climber. Over the past couple of weeks, my eye shadow has been broken up and dumped on the floor, spread around and ground in to give my bathroom tile a nice shade of brown.  My eyeliners have been dipped in the lipsticks and used as applicators for putting lipstick on his cheeks and forehead. I now have no lipsticks, limited eye shadow, and I have had to wipe off all my eyeliners, but they still have a light pinkish residue on them. I never thought I would have to use makeup remover on my makeup, which by the way, is a little nerve wracking to do because what will happen to the makeup you want to keep that is under the makeup that you need to remove? At least I have an idea of what it might be like to have a little girl...

A day without a dad...

Ok, I realize that it is as late as it could possibly get and still be "this week," but it still is, so I am good on the resolution of once a week--by the way, once a week to me means one Sunday through Saturday, not necessarily 7 days.  Hey, I'm a work in progress.  

I have decided that I would be a horrible single mom.  D is out of town this weekend, and the last two days have been the longest of my life.  I didn't really notice it until 5:00 pm yesterday when I normally would have gotten a call from D to let me know he was on his way home.  I didn't hear from him until much later, nor did I hear from him most of the day, which is not normal for us.  It was at that point that I realized that is how I get Fuss settled from his afternoon fit.  I tell him, "Daddy is on his way!" and he gets excited and runs to the door as soon as he hears the key in it.  He really loves it when his daddy comes home, and frankly, so do I!  Last night my Fuss delved further into his terrible twos phase with nonstop tantrums ranging from what pajamas he wanted to wear, what he did not want to eat for dinner, and whether or not I am allowed to put things away that belong in the basement without hauling Fuss along for the 15 stairs up and down.  He did go to bed good, until 11:10 pm, at which time he decided he couldn't sleep unless I was holding him in my arms.  

The terrible twos continued for my not-quite-two-year-old this morning beginning at 4:05 am when he decided that he needed a "ba" and I had to go to the kitchen to get him a sippy of milk to stop the constant screeching "moooommmmm" (this must be said while imitating a dying, high-pitched parrot).  Then at 5:45 I was not allowed to use the restroom without sobbing and hollering of my name again, only this time it was just the saddest little cry you have ever heard, like he was afraid I was never coming back, which by this point I was considering.  I missed my D more than ever, keeping in mind that I am only relaying the major moments, about every 15 minutes we had some sort of a breakdown throughout the majority of the night.  

To enhance a wonderful weekend, I decided that it would be fun for Fuss and I to drive the 50 miles to my parents' house for a visit.  I strategically planned this so that Fuss would miss his nap.  Okay, I really thought that he would fall asleep in the car, which would give him an hour nap and that would get us through the majority of the day.  Of course, it didn't quite happen that way.  Fuss didn't fall asleep until the last 20 minutes of the drive, which does not constitute a long enough nap for a 20-month-old terror.  Fit after fit occurred, starting with suddenly being afraid of my parents' miniature poodle, one of the few dogs that no one should be afraid of, to fighting with me over whose Pepsi I brought back with me from picking up lunch, mine or his.  I think he won that one since he drank almost the entire thing while I was doing other things.

The clincher that made me know for sure that I could never be a single parent was when I agreed to a public exhibit of dining in a restaurant with several members of my family.  It started with Fuss' refusal to sit in a highchair.  This was followed by the climbing of the bench and glass that separated us from the people on the bench behind us.  He then slid to the floor under the table, made his way through the maze of legs, over the front bar of the highchair at the head of the table that he should have been sitting in, under the highchair, over the bar on the back, which was waist high to him, and off to wave to his new friends in person.  He walked down one row of tables making sure to touch the back of every chair he passed.  Then he walked through the main walkway of the restaurant stopping to wave to the people at each table.  When our food came and I forced him to sit down by me to eat, he broke into a sobbing fit!  You would have thought that I ordered him asparagus and spinach instead of grilled cheese and fries!  It was bad enough that I immediately asked for boxes and the check and took my terror home.

The hardest part of the day though, was when I was trying to get Fuss to extend his nap and took him into the extra bedroom at my parents' house to lay down and hopefully fall asleep.  He was whimpering and refused to settle in, so I suggested that we call daddy.  When D answered his phone, I put it on speaker phone.  As soon as Fuss heard his daddy's voice, he took the phone from my hand and started to kiss the screen.  He got a huge grin on his face, and kept smiling and kissing until D said goodbye.  At that point, Fuss took my cell phone and held it tightly to his chest in a hug.  He pulled it out every once in a while to look at the screen, and then hugged it to his chest again.  When I tried to take the phone away, he held it tighter and refused to let me have it.  He finally fell asleep holding onto his daddy's voice.  Good thing Daddy comes home tomorrow!

I resolve to...

Okay, so it has been brought to my attention that I am not very blog attentive lately, and it is true.  Even worse than writing, I have not read any of my friends' blogs since...I don't really know.  But, it is a new year and with a new year comes resolutions.  Usually my resolutions last until about January 15th, but since that is tomorrow I am hoping that I am turning over a new leaf.  And I figure is I don't actually write them until the 14th then they are bound to last longer than one day...I hope!  So, for your reading pleasure and my hoping that if others know them I will be more accountable to them...my new year's resolutions...

1. I resolve to be patient with my husband, children, extended family, other drivers, slow people at the grocery checkout using the self checkout but that don't really know how, the people that park their cars on the street when the road isn't wide enough to still be two lanes when they do, and those that allow their dogs to roam aimlessly and "do their duty" on my lawn so that I can't allow my one-year-old to play in his own yard without a quick "pick up" from mom--so gross!  I resolve to turn the other cheek and not focus on the stuff that I cannot do anything about or that is truly not important.  I will only be inpatient when we are truly going to be late or when I have already asked nicely 3 times or more. 

2. I resolve to finally fit into a size 10 again.  I would really like to fit into an 8 again, but I'm not pushing my luck.  That means that I resolve to workout for at least 8 hours each week, watch what I eat, and actually cook real meals with vegetables and everything.

3. I resolve to add to my blog at least once a week.  I resolve to not make my cousin, Neyney (and you know who you are even though you too get a fake name), to have to remind me how long it has been since I have last written. It is my responsibility and I resolve to resume it.

4. I resolve to have a cleaner home.  I resolve to mop my floors at least once a month (I almost wrote once a week, but I have to be realistic).  I resolve to even mop behind the toilet.  I resolve to wash the baseboards and the walls at least 3 times in the year.  I resolve to deep clean the closest and the storage room downstairs where I don't like to go...

5. I have resolved to my sister that if I do not have another baby by the end of 2009, then I will run/walk a 1/2 marathon with her by August 2010, which means I resolve to take up running in 2009 to train for it.

6. I resolve to follow the basic principles that my mom taught me from the day she brought me home: to be the best me I can be, to treat others as I would want to be treated, to be an example of my Savior and live so that He can be with me always.  I also resolve to teach my children these same principles.

Happy 2009!!!