Did you think about that first...

As we were preparing for a group 4-wheeler ride at our family reunion, one of D's aunts suggested that we all wear long pants and t-shirts to protect ourselves from the sun and the dust. Another of the aunts, Boo, realized that she hadn't prepared for such an adventure while packing, and had to opt to wear the shorts and tank top that she had brought. As we gathered around to pair up riders, Boo's husband appeared from the cabin with one of his short-sleeved shirts for his wife to wear. As he handed her the shirt, we all remarked how sweet it was that he made this most generous and selfless offer without even being prompted. He responded that he wanted this moment recorded (here you go!). I have heard the request for recording kind gestures from husbands (or just men) frequently. If you ask a man he would probably tell you it is because we as women never remember the selfless acts that they do. I am here to disagree. It is not because we don't remember. It is because every time they make such a prince-like gesture, it is canceled out by the thoughtless comments or things that they do...and I do mean thoughtless. I do not think, by any means, that men set out to say or do stupid (and that really is the best way to put it) things to their wives, girlfriends, or other women in general. I think that they don't think about it and that is what gets them in trouble. For example.....

#1. It has probably been 10 years, at least, since a family conversation where we were discussing "original weights." (I know what you are thinking, why didn't we just call it our birth weight, but for some reason I don't think that the original "original weight" referred to birth weight...it was more like a desired previous weight.) Anyhow, I made the comment that I would like to be about 20 times my original weight (at 6 lbs 6 oz at birth, this would put me around 130ish pounds as an adult). My dad quickly countered my idea by telling me that was impossible since I was already about "1000 times" my original weight. Appalled I declared that I was by no means over 6000 pounds! He quickly shook his head and apologized by saying, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean 1000, I meant 100 times." Really? Because telling your daughter she is heavier than 600 pounds is better than 6000 pounds? Ten times would have been just as (or more) unbelievable, but much better choice of apologetic correction...

#2. My dear, close friend, Angel, recently received a promotion at work. This promotion now allows her to work out of her home. Her physical activity at work has been greatly reduced, and she has more of a "desk job" then she previously had. Her husband (who is also a dear friend to us) unthinkingly expressed his concern by telling her that he would buy her an office chair that was perfectly fit to her derriere in it's current proportions. The purpose for this was that it would prevent her from allowing her rear end to get larger. What sane person can tell me that this comment was thought through before being spoken by a loving husband?

#3. D and I were to attend a dinner party hosted by his employer. Since I had not met most of the people that he works with, nor had I met any of their spouses, I was concerned about making a good impression. I was pregnant with Fuss at the time, and was very sensitive about how quickly I was gaining weight. As a means for reassurance, not really needing a real answer, I asked D, "Am I going to be the fattest and ugliest wife there?" Now, I know that there are a million correct answers to this question, even if they are untrue answers. Something like, "Of course not! To me you are beautiful and you always will be." Or "I don't even pay attention to other women, but I do know that you are the most beautiful to me." Something sweet and reassuring...that is all I was asking for. So, my husband's response..."I don't know. I haven't seen all the other wives." Now tell me that was thought through first...

#4. D and I were shopping at Babies 'R Us with our darling, little, binki-addicted Fuss, when D suggested that he go purchase a new binki since Fuss has a habit of throwing and losing them. Of course I agreed with this unexpected forethought from my husband, especially because Fuss likes a particular brand and style of binki, which is found at BRU. The binki Fuss likes is round and blue, and not hard to identify amidst the selection of binki options in a store. D left my side to go find and purchase the binki while I continued to shop. I, of course, assumed that D would be purchasing the brand and style that Fuss used. Upon his return to the shopping center D had Fuss still sitting in the cart with his new binki in his mouth...much to my dismay. D had gotten the brand right, but the style was nothing like the other 15 identical binkies that we had purchased over the past several months. The binki that D had purchased was green, softer, and so wide it had handle bars. Had D thought to consult me before purchasing the new gigantor binki that my son is not allowed to use in public, or even before opening it and allowing Fuss to put it in his mouth, this would have been a great achievement for the record...had he only thought about it first.