The sacrifice we make...

Here I sit at 20 minutes to 7 am typing in the dark. D and Fuss are sleeping in my room, and I am sure that the older boys are just waking up at their mom's house for school. I have been awake for the last 2 hours and 42 minutes. Why? Because as a mother, I am willing to sacrifice my sleep to be able to stay home and be the one that gets to raise my son. Due to circumstances beyond our control (child support payments), I don't have the choice to be a non-working mother unless I want D to work multiple jobs, which I don't. I am very blessed though to have been able to find a career that I enjoy that enables me to work from home. I am a medical transcriptionist, and although the starting pay isn't all that great, it is a sacrifice I am happily making to be with my baby. And the faster and better I get at it, the higher the pay will be. Luckily, I am a quick learner! My day now starts at 4:00 am, my work day that is. To start at 4:00 am requires me to wake up at 3:45 am, which requires that I go to bed by 9:00 pm--talk about sacrifice. I have to read the evening news the next morning on the internet. Then I have to tell D everything I read because he now goes to bed with me. I thought that this new arrangement would be so easy for D. Go to bed early, sleep until the normal time he wakes up (7:15 am), and then go through his normal day. So far, it hasn't worked out that way at all. 

This morning Fuss woke up at 4:45. I sat in my office wondering if D was going to hear him, or if Fuss would just fall back asleep. Neither of those things happened. So, I stopped working, poured Fuss a sippy full of milk, found a binki (knowing that the one he went to bed with could be anywhere in his room), and went to Fuss' room, picked him up, and took him in to D. All the while I was thinking that Fuss would lay down, cuddle up to his dad, and go back to sleep. Instead, he coughed so hard from the stupid cold he is getting that he threw up on my side of the bed, on the sheets that I just washed yesterday! He needed his diaper changed, and he wanted to play. He cried for his mommy a bit, which broke my heart as I sat in my office with the door closed, knowing that if he saw the light he would come to find me. The sacrifice that I gave up this morning was to cuddle my child when he wanted me. I could do it because I knew his dad was there, and that I would get to spend the rest of my day with him. Fuss was finally starting to go back to sleep when I hit a button on the computer that messed up what I was typing. After several attempts to fix it myself, I had to go get my computer genius husband to fix it for me. Of course, Fuss wasn't going to let daddy go to mommy's office without coming himself! After fixing my faux pas, D turned to me and said, "I may as well have woken up at 4:00 myself!" All I can say is, " Touche, my love! Touche! We all have to make sacrifices for me to work from home..."