Where does the time go...

TWO YEARS!! Seriously, what is wrong with me?! I don't even know where to begin!

Fuss is definitely the joy and the bane of my existence. It is amazing you can the love the person that drives you insane so unconditionally. He is the most hilarious irritant in my life! At 4 years old, he thinks he knows everything. He is completely OCD and I now spend my days making sure that I do everything differently than I normally would just so that he can get the idea that there is more than one way to do things. Oh the tears that I cause with these tactics, but I am trying to convince myself that it is better he cry tears now than he become the crazy old guy that no one wants disrupt. He threw a fit, full blown defiance against me, the other day because I put milk in his cup, then put the milk away, then got out the Nesquik mix, when I usually just grab the mix from the pantry at the same time I grab the milk. It makes sense to do it that way considering my pantry is next to the fridge, but I didn't, so he wouldn't drink it. For three hours he whined to me that he was thirsty. For three hours I handed him his glass of milk. He refused to drink it because it "wasn't made right." I refused to allow him to have anything else because he got his stubbornness from me and I wanted to make sure he too was aware of that. This is the current story of my life...who can hold out longer. It's definitely me!

I do have to say, he's not always that way. Sometimes, I am thoroughly amazed at how much he is like me. He's funny, thoughtful, stubborn, lazy, clumsy, and so very, very attention deficit. One minute he has me cracking up, such as today when I handed him his towel after he got out of the tub, and he winked and me and said, "Thanks, Sis." It's the little moments that catch me off guard that get me through the moments that I want to...well, I'm sure you can guess!

I can't help but wonder sometimes how my Fuss might be different, maybe less demanding, if his entire world wouldn't have been turned upside down last year.

Last year...2010...so much has happened, but for me most of it was spent in my bed with my feet elevated on a stack of 10+ pillows. You see, I was born with flatfeet, a trait I inherited from my mother and she from her father. Sadly, Fuss has inherited them too. Anyway, because my feet are similar in structure to my chest...flat...I have had problems with my knees and back. So, I decided it was time to do something about it. In April, I had my left foot operated on. The doctor removed some extra bones, reattached the tendons that used to be attached to the no longer existent bones, put an implant in my foot to hold the bones up correctly, and put three holes in my Achilles tendon to lengthen the short little tendon to its correct length. In July, I found out that the implant had popped out of place and had to have surgery again to fix it. This is an issue that the doctor had only ever seen one time before, when he operated on my mom. By the middle of August I was done with casts, boots, and crutches. I was walking on my own. I was walking on the outside of my left foot, but still on the inside of my right. So, in September I underwent surgery on my right foot, repeating the same procedure. During this time frame (2010) Fuss had turned 3 years old, we were working on potty training, he started preschool, and Olie moved in with us. It went from him and me together always, just us, to Mom in bed, Fuss going away for two hours a day with a bunch of people he didn't know, and having to share his dad with his brother everyday! That's a lot of changes for a kid to have take place in just a few months. Since that time, he has been emotional, clinging, and downright defiant. Sometimes I can't help but to wonder if his OCD behaviors were enhanced by going through so many changes so quickly. He has to hold onto what he knows. He has to keep control of his life in some way. It's really hard to explain this theory to a 4 year old, almost as hard as it is to keep it in mind when I am losing my mind with the insanity of the OCD.

I think I just had a little bit of an epiphany... Now, I am trying to figure out why I haven't blogged. Blogging to me is like being my own psychiatrist. I put it out there. Let you read it. Hope someone out there can relate and then move on... I'm pretty sure I'll be back tomorrow. After all, I have a lot of issues that could use the therapy and my keyboard is way cheaper than a shrink!